I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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