i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
