Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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