Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
