Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
