Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think i have two assholes
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Houston, we have a squirter
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize