Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
