Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
