I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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