He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
