I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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