There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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