Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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