Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
