i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
