If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
