how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
