i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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