It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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