that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
