Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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