would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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