i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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