but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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