piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
