Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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