This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
