I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think I am morally bankrupt
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize