glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize