Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
