these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
