Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize