; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize