thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
