He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
