i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
wow bdsm is so cute
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
