You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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