apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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