The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize