Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
