so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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