what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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