Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
