Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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