I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
