the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
