I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
