I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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