i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
