I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
