when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
