question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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