no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You are the jesus of drinking
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
