Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry canuck1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

Fav 16 7830 989
share tweet
(828): View more from North Carolina

my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.

Fav 14 5362 1046
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

Fav 44 2282 7315
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns

Fav 10 5515 2218
share tweet
(219): View more from Indiana

my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.

Fav 10 2812 1169
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

Fav 3 1581 927
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...

Fav 6 2180 1288
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

she's p upset bro

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Where is he. I have a sword.

Fav 0 387 173
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....

Fav 0 50 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT