they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
