Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
