Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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