Capitaan dildo arrescate!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wish i was in the wii world.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
