My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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