i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize