By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize