Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
