So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
