We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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