About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
