it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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