I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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