'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
