Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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