sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
