MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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