I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He better not be in your backpack
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
