i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When did we convert life to cartoon?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
