What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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