you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
