woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
