Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize