i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
