3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
