Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
